“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome”
You know that decision you made, that big decision involving hope aswell as regret? That decision that changed your life for better or worse.. We all change for one of two reasons and it is either because we have learned too much to stay or because we have been hurt too much or too many times to stay.
We all make changes in life whether they are big or small and ultimately they all contain hardships during the process. The bigger the change, the bigger the pain and hardships!
Most of the times we back down and revert to the old ways due to the intensity of the pain. This makes the process of changing hard, and sometimes we all need A BIG CHANGE in life wich also means BIG PAIN. The following list is to remind you what you’re up against or maybe what you are going through right now to confirm you and your decision to change.
1. Rough feelings
After a decision or a situation that forces change upon you its going to get rough because change isn’t easy, especially personal change. If you aren’t feeling grief, sorrow, anger, confusion etc, you are not changing. Losing certainty of what your reality is will contain pain, believe nothing else…
Do remember that pain is a part of change and therefore lead to new horizons and if you resist, it will persist.
2. Losing what you have
When turning in a new direction, friends wont follow you and most of the time you can’t bring what you have into the game. As if it wasnt hard enough to make the decision to change, change itself will make you feel loss even though it might be a good thing in the end.
Imagine carrying books containing everything you know, you might be able to write some notifications in the margins for a while but sooner or later you’ll need a new book with either new knowledge or the same knowledge as before but rewritten to combine new information. As strong as you may be, throwing away the old book may be inevitable to carry the new one.
When exploring change you are really in uncharted territories wich means you will be uncertain of anything. Although we often are raised with “knowledge is power”, this attitude will be in the way for change because you have to leave what you have learned in order to embrace the new knowledge wich more often than not intervenes with the old or even contradicts it.
As mentioned before, a loss of friends will occur when changing. This will make you doubt your decisions more than once. And yes, real friends will support you no matter what but in the same time they may value some changes and despise others. And when you face a change that make you decide between friends and change you will experience loneliness. It may be your best friend and it doesn’t need to involve a conflict but different values will force you in different directions and when clinging to the past you will learn it is hard to embrace the future. Feeling alone is also a part of change.
Going back is easy, right?
This is a real hardship to face! you are already on the edge being hammered with confusion, loneliness, pain aswell as losing your reality. Then comes the opportunity to go back, whether it’s the old habit, the old job or maybe that ex-partner that you really just want to forget.
In a state of weakness this is an easy step even though it’s a step back to certainty and the old reality. This is what holds us back when we really want to change. Here we either need willpower, encouragement, time or understanding and sometimes even all of it. In a state of weakness when you are lost, remind yourself that uncertainty and confusion is the way towards new horizons.