5 hardships and pains to deal with when changing

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome

You know that decision you made, that big decision involving hope aswell as regret? That decision that changed your life for better or worse.. We all change for one of two reasons and it is either because we have learned too much to stay or because we have been hurt too much or too many times to stay.
We all make changes in life whether they are big or small and ultimately they all contain hardships during the process. The bigger the change, the bigger the pain and hardships!
Most of the times we back down and revert to the old ways due to the intensity of the pain. This makes the process of changing hard, and sometimes we all need A BIG CHANGE in life wich also means BIG PAIN. The following list is to remind you what you’re up against or maybe what you are going through right now to confirm you and your decision to change.

1. Rough feelings
After a decision or a situation that forces change upon you its going to get rough because change isn’t easy, especially personal change. If you aren’t feeling grief, sorrow, anger, confusion etc, you are not changing. Losing certainty of what your reality is will contain pain, believe nothing else…
Do remember that pain is a part of change and therefore lead to new horizons and if you resist, it will persist.

2. Losing what you have
When turning in a new direction, friends wont follow you and most of the time you can’t bring what you have into the game. As if it wasnt hard enough to make the decision to change, change itself will make you feel loss even though it might be a good thing in the end.
Imagine carrying books containing everything you know, you might be able to write some notifications in the margins for a while but sooner or later you’ll need a new book with either new knowledge or the same knowledge as before but rewritten to combine new information. As strong as you may be, throwing away the old book may be inevitable to carry the new one.

3. Uncertainty
When exploring change you are really in uncharted territories wich means you will be uncertain of anything. Although we often are raised with “knowledge is power”, this attitude will be in the way for change because you have to leave what you have learned in order to embrace the new knowledge wich more often than not intervenes with the old or even contradicts it.

4. Loneliness
As mentioned before, a loss of friends will occur when changing. This will make you doubt your decisions more than once. And yes, real friends will support you no matter what but in the same time they may value some changes and despise others. And when you face a change that make you decide between friends and change you will experience loneliness. It may be your best friend and it doesn’t need to involve a conflict but different values will force you in different directions and when clinging to the past you will learn it is hard to embrace the future. Feeling alone is also a part of change.

5. Temptation
Going back is easy, right?
This is a real hardship to face! you are already on the edge being hammered with confusion, loneliness, pain aswell as losing your reality. Then comes the opportunity to go back, whether it’s the old habit, the old job or maybe that ex-partner that you really just want to forget.
In a state of weakness this is an easy step even though it’s a step back to certainty and the old reality. This is what holds us back when we really want to change. Here we either need willpower, encouragement, time or understanding and sometimes even all of it. In a state of weakness when you are lost, remind yourself that uncertainty and confusion is the way towards new horizons.


Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes
– Changing the Story

14 thoughts on “5 hardships and pains to deal with when changing

  1. Isabell Reply

    Nice post and I can relate, especially since I went through quite some changes in the past couple of years.
    I disagree with this however, “If you aren’t feeling grief, sorrow, anger, confusion etc, you are not changing”. I don’t think change happens only from negative happenings and it doesn’t have to be a major occurrence for someone to change. Change can also be due to positive influences or simply internal assessment and reflection over time.

    • changingthestory Post authorReply

      That you can relate means you know a lot about changes and I know you do! Hopefully this can serve as a reminder during hard times to come 🙂
      I totally agree with your point of view that the cause of change doesn’t have to be either big or negative, I should have written “you are not -in the process of- changing”, if that makes you agree I don’t know 😉

    • changingthestory Post authorReply

      Oblivious to the fact that my opinion shines through, this makes me really glad to read 🙂

    • changingthestory Post authorReply

      Your opening in your comment sums it up really well i must say! 😉

  2. Natasha Haley Reply

    These are very true. I think anyone going through change can relate. But if we deal with it right change can be a real good thing to help us grow

    • changingthestory Post authorReply

      Growing is what makes life dynamic <3 🙂

  3. Heraa Reply

    Can relate to that. I guess it happens to us all at some point of time. I like changes that’s what keeps me going.

    • changingthestory Post authorReply

      I really like changes aswell! The hardships of change makes the sun shine even brighter when it reappears 😀

  4. Laura - Learning to Adventure Reply

    While I agree with and have indeed experienced many of the hardships – I’m a true believer of the “Every cloud has a silver lining” mentality and trying to find the good in every situation 🙂

    • changingthestory Post authorReply

      Finding the good in every situation sure is an incredible asset and I’m glad you have experienced and agree with most of the hardships 🙂

  5. Clare C Reply

    Wow, thank you so much for sharing this. I think everyone has been through most of these at some point. You write about it so beautifully- thank you C

    • changingthestory Post authorReply

      I really hope it can serve you as a ray of light in rough times to come 🙂

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